


Can You Imagine

by nevereverever



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Era, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, sad fluff tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 15:40:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5631961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevereverever/pseuds/nevereverever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eliza has to do something to fix her broken family. Something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can You Imagine

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I hope you like this. It is kinda sad. Apologies in advance for any spelling mistakes I may have missed/

It had been a month. The longest month. The moment of Philip's death replayed in her head over and over. For weeks she sat in her bed, alone. She stared at the wall. The children would bring her food. Her expression was raw and haggard as she heard Philips ragged last breath ring through her ears. James would curl up at the foot of the bed and talk to her. She responded in short sentences. The sound of her voice only served to remind her. With every word, she remembered the sound of her voice echoing with no response. There was no response. She just wanted to hear his voice sing back.

“Mother?”  
“Yes?” She looked up. Angie stood just outside of the door. She looked scared. Like she was worried what her mother might do to her.  
“Mother. I’m very worried.” The look on Angie's face hurt Eliza. To see that much hurt filling her daughter's eyes was unbearable. Tears began to well behind Eliza's eyes.  
“What are you worried about my dear?” Eliza responded, holding out her arms to her daughter. Angie ran to her mother and curled up in her arms. She melted into tears.  
“I’m so very worried about you and Father. Do you hate him?”  
“I don’t hate him, my darling. I don’t hate him.” Eliza whispered, holding back the sobs building in her throat, “I promise.”  
“You have been so despondent after… after.” Angie broke back into tears. She continued to speak between sobs, “And now Father… I haven't seen him come out of his study. I am so worried about him… Mother I don’t know how to help.”  
Eliza closed her eyes and tried to compose herself. She had hurt her daughter. She had hurt her children. She tried to gather her courage but found none. She let some of the tears she had been holding back roll down her cheeks.  
“I promise Angelica. I promise I will fix this. I promise.” She whispered. She held Angie in her lap until the draw of sleep became to heavy and she fell asleep.

Morning light shone through the curtains, dappling the ground in golden beams. Angie had apparently woken and gone to school, for Eliza's bed was cold. She felt the all too familiar tug of grief pull at her. She had made a promise. She had made a promise to fix this.  
With what felt like an immense amount of effort, she managed to pull herself to her feet. Her legs quivered under the weight of her body. She took her time getting dressed. She was slow and methodical, trying to use the menial task of dressing to pull her away from the near constant remembrance.  
Once fully dressed she took a deep breath. One big breath to bring her back to her family. Her family was broken now. It hadn’t been this broken before. She knew she had to do something. Try to fix it. Try to fix something.  
She knocked on the door to her husband's study. She hadn’t thought about him in that way for so long. Her husband. A vague murmur and shuffling of papers came from inside. She took it to mean that he was still alive and opened the door.  
Alexander's head swung around at the sound of the door creaking open and the light that came with it. He was surrounded by papers. Some were letters. Some essays. Some were just scribblings of thoughts. Many were tear stained.  
“Eliza.”  
“Alexander.”  
The silence hung heavy in the air. For the first time in a while, Eliza didn’t feel the tug of greif, just the pain of betrayal.  
“How are you?” he asked tenderly, like a child.  
“I haven’t the strength left to be tired, nor the willpower to be angry.”  
“Eliza. I understand if you are angry with me. I betrayed you. I betrayed you and I told the world. I… I let Philip… " he paused for a while, trying to gain his composure so Eliza wouldn't see how hurt he truly was "Eliza I know I hurt you. I know… and if you never forgive me… of course I will be heartbroken… but I will understand. I will. I promise.”  
His words. ‘I promise’ just like she had said to Angie. She started to weep.  
“Alexander.” she whispered, her voice obscured by tears.  
He took a step towards her, expecting her to recoil, but she didn’t. He put his hand on her waist lightly.  
“I promise Eliza.”  
He pulled her into a hug and held her while she cried.  
“I promise. I love you.”  
Slowly her crying abated, but she let him hold her for a while.  
She knew Angelica would think she was weak. For God's sake, she thought she was weak. Taking him back after everything he had done. He had let Philip duel. He had let another woman into their bed. He had done terrible things. But she loved him. Maybe she just loved him more than she hated him.  
She pulled away from him. He backed off quickly. He knew he had done wrong. He knew he had hurt her, and he was afraid he would make things worse.  
Eliza wiped her tear with her sleeve. She let out a single laugh, not at anything in particular.  
“I don’t know how I manage to do this.” she said, “You are unfaithful, neglectful, stubborn as an ass. But damn it, Alexander, I love you. I love you after everything you have done. Not because you are the father of my children. Not because I am married to you, but because you are still the man that I fell in love with at that ball.”  
For once, Alexander was at a loss for words. There was still something between them. Something that was still wrong.  
“Eliza.” he started, “Eliza, I know that I could say sorry enough times to number the stars and it would never make up for what I did to you, to the children.” Eliza scoffed, “But my love for you will never go away. Even if you never forgive me. I will always love you Eliza Hamilton.”  
“I would like to preface what I am about to do by reiterating that I have not forgiven you completely, but that I will try.”  
She grabbed him by the waist and pulled him into a kiss. He was startled, but quickly fell into the comfortingly familiar feeling of kissing her. When she finally pulled away, a small smile darted across her lips, the first in a while.  
“I’m going to clean the kitchen. It must be a mess. And the children's rooms, dear God.”  
Alexander nodded, turning back to his work.  
“And, Alexander?” Eliza said, “You may sleep in our bed tonight.”


End file.
